im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
