I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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