There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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