She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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