did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
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THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
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after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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