like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
