just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
