she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize