i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
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Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
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