he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize