You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize