He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
