last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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