please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
