i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
