Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize