Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
