My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The cops high fived after they tackled you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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