No awkward lesbian experiences without me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
