Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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