New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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