doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is classic penis vs brain.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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