They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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