I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
