I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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