Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
