i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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