shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
