Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
