people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
