My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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