at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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