She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
