so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
