Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize