hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
