I CAN MOONWALK!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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