...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
