Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
