he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
