the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
