I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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