you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
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It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
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some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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