Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
