Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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