How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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