You're completely useless in the revolution.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
