woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
