I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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