I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
