He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
