just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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