If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
