oh god the rape fog is back!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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