I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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