That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
