were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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