She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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